A few weeks ago I went back to my office for the first time since Joey was born. I took a big box with me and packed up my desk, because I have decided to quit my job and stay home with my baby. The decision was so simple, and so hard. Of course I was going to stay home. I don't think I ever truly pictured myself as a working mother once in all the time I was preparing for motherhood. And yet, when it actually came time to decide for real, I was wracked with doubt and second-guessing. Could we get by without my salary? Was I handing over my feminist card to become a housewife? Would I be able to get a job if I wanted to go back to work in a few years?
To be clear, I don't think either working or staying at home is better or more right than the other. My incredible mother stayed at home to raise us 3 kids; Chris's incredible mother worked while raising her 7 children. I have friends that work and friends that stay at home. Every mama and each family is different and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. That might seem obvious, but I absolutely don't want to seem like I'm disparaging anyone's choice.
I finally wrestled down all the doubt and questions and decided that regardless of everything else, being at home would make me happiest. So that's what I did. And I love it. And I am so, so grateful that Chris was supportive and that we were able to make it happen. I know some people want to stay home but don't even have the choice, and I recognize that it is a luxury that Chris and I can do this. I try to remember every day that I am lucky to be here, and so blessed.